nghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Drunk Hux: *sees a fat cat*
Drunk Hux, in tears: You are so fucking big I love you…
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Thor: I’m friendly, I’m loyal, I’m energetic… I just described a dog, didn’t I?
Tony: Well, yeah, but people love dogs.
Anonymous asked:
an au where your soulmate's first words will be written in your skin and harry's says "please help" so harry taught himself martial arts, study hard etc until one day he has to pick up mr pickle in a dog babysitter (merlin is uually the one who babysits mr pickle but he was busy so merlin puts him in there) which is eggsy and he found eggsy on the ground playing with dogs and eggsy's first words were "please help" and harry is like "its you" and eggsy is like "thats not how i imagine that'll go"
unwinthehart answered:
This is the cutest thing fsdgihghjfs
Harry learning anything that might be useful when he meets his soulmate, because he wants to be sure he’s ready and that he can save him.
And then it turns out the only threat is overexcited, cute, puppies and Harry’s done for. Meeting his soulmate is a revelation all in itself, but seeing him on the ground, swarmed by dogs with a happy, bright smile on his face makes Harry fall in love in a split second.
Fun fact: cats don’t just wiggle their butts before they pounce out of excitement - they’re also making tiny adjustments to the position of their feet in order to more precisely aim the ensuing lunge.
Or, in other words: your cat is calibrating.
Loading pounce.exe
Initiating…
Analyzing target coordinates
Trajectory adjustments required, initiate calibration protocol wigglebutt.exe
Wiggling…
Wiggling…
Calibration complete. Initiating pounce in 3…
2…
1…
Pounce initiated
Results: Slammed head first into wall. Please debug wigglebutt.exe
pure gold
starsandgutters asked:
SEVERICH AND THE ADOPTING FIVE CATS ONE BECAUSE CRAZY CAT BOY RICHIE IS LITERALLY MY LIFE BLOOD. Thank you. x
bigqueervillain answered:
Severin does his best to ignore the small ball of fluff currently winding around his ankles. He’d nearly stepped on the little runt when he’d walked in the door and found Richard in his glory, on the floor, surrounded by purring kittens.
Severin pinches the bridge of his nose. “So tell me the story again,” he says, “from the beginning.”
“I told you,” Richard says, scratching one of the kittens behind the ear. “I was walking home from rehearsal. There was a box on the street and they were just in there. All alone. They didn’t even have their mother. There wasn’t a sign or anything. So…”
Severin folds his arms across his chest. He’s not going to budge on this one. The idea of Richard surrounded by kittens is a sweet one. In practice, not so much. Severin nudges the kitten away from his foot. “So?”
“So-o,” Richard continues. His eyes drift away from Severin’s gaze. His next words are rushed. “I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats.”
Severin blinks. He does a re-count. Two orange ones crawl over Richard’s knees, one dark brown one begins an attack on Severin’s shoe, and a fourth one investigates the space under the coffee table.
“Five?” he asks. He looks at Richard, wondering if he miscounted. Richard points at Severin’s bag just as it topples over, spilling the contents, and one black kitten, onto the floor.
Right. Five.
Richard stifles a laugh. The kitten meows at Severin, long and annoyed, and Severin narrows his eyes.
Richard smiles, a mischievous glint in his eye. “That one’s name is Jim.”
Greg: [wearing a tuxedo, and eating a hot dog]
Mycroft: Gregory, you don’t eat a hot dog wearing a tuxedo.
Greg: This hot dog’s not wearing a tuxedo.
Jim, texting: What if the g in gif is silent??
Sebastian: Go the fuck to sleep
Jim: What gif I don’t want to
Sebastian: Fuck you.
I hope Jack Davenport knows how much we love James. I hope he knows he’s not just a throwaway cameo for Kingsman fandom, he’s our boo.
me: **finally sits down to watch kingsman**
me: (one minute later) omg how could no one have told me jack davenport was in this movie
me: (five minutes later) oh